I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
