Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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