I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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