New invention idea: vibrating tampons
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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