It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
