Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize