You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
