What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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