My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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