Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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