Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
