You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
