escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
