She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
