so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
