its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
