I will die if light touches me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
