You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
