I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize