She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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