Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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