Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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