There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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