come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
