So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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