so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What a dumb baby whore.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
