Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
