i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
