If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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