"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
