I can tuck mytits in my pants
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
