Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
