Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
