I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
