we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize