will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
