let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
