Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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