stop calling my apartment porn island.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
