So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
