doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
