Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry KerbiiKhan hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

Fav 10 3860 1721
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

That bitch ruined vodka saturday

Fav 6 893 2107
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

Fav 13 2143 987
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

Fav 4 877 1837
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.

Fav 15 1729 1011
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."

Fav 5 5013 1044
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

Fav 4 905 569
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.

Fav 1 50 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.

Fav 0 60 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT