Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
