i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
