We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
