These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
