I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
