went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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