I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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