I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
