i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
