omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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