Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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