Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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