A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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