I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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