You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
